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Family, technology, and community

Updated: Apr 23, 2024

When my wife and I decided to get married, we already had in mind the idea of starting a family. Having children together is something that we both see as an important part of our lives. We don't have children yet, but it is our intention to have them. My wife is a doctor, nutritionist, and researcher, so she is constantly updating herself on health and nutrition topics. These are areas in which society has sold us ideas of what is healthy and how to treat diseases for decades. These ideas have undoubtedly been the most profitable for certain corporations, but not necessarily the most convenient for citizens. Due to her knowledge in this field, we have changed many of our eating and consumption habits, which have had a positive impact on our health.


On my part, I am an architect, entrepreneur, and blogger. I have always been curious, and since we started planning our family, my curiosity has led me to learn everything that can help make our family project successful. I have encountered many questions and concerns that I had not considered before. Physical health issues but also mental health, topics about the society we live in, how it functions, and the things that are not working very well. When thinking about having children, many problems immediately come to mind; and although as my father says, "One is never ready to have children," as the moment approaches, I will prepare as best as I can.


Thus, figuring out how to provide our children with a healthy environment to grow in has become the big question. On several occasions, we recognize that we somehow fall into practices that we ourselves do not consider the healthiest. One of the most difficult problems we have encountered is the use of screens or devices with screens. For this particular issue, there seems to be a consensus among experts that they greatly affect children's development and lead to emotional and socialization disorders. On the other hand, we have witnessed how children are immediately fascinated (not to say hypnotized) by screens, where they will later be exposed to content that YouTube deems most appropriate for them. This made it clear to us that this will be the biggest challenge, especially knowing that even we, as adults, are constantly victims of social media, infinite scrolling, and endless content on YouTube.


How can we restrict the use of these devices for our children when we are unable to restrict them for ourselves? The first step would be to free ourselves from them so we can lead by example. In our case, it hasn't been easy, but it hasn't been as difficult as it could be for many. Eliminating the television was something we had already done, which counted as a first battle won. However, dealing with computers and smartphones would be another story. These are the main thieves of our attention and time.


Transforming our technology into true tools for work and productivity without falling victim to constant attention traps requires a very conscious effort. It starts with seeing digital technology as a tool and respecting the power of that tool. Just as a simple tool like a knife requires a steady hand to avoid self-injury while cutting, our digital tools require great awareness to avoid harming our minds when using them. And as far as I know, no one lets children play with knives.


Therefore, getting rid of technology and pretending to go back to the past did not seem like an option to us. The only option would be to become capable of taming our new tools so that we have the expertise and judgment to pass on these skills to our children. In this process, the first thing we found is that we are not alone in the search for better ways to use technology, and that there are apps to block distractions on our phones, as well as options to put them in black and white so that all those apps do not look like candies in the store. The app to block other applications was enough to completely put the phone under control, allowing us to use necessary apps like messages, banking, or maps. Assigning schedules to work-related apps like email, thus avoiding bringing work home, and blocking the use of the internet, shopping apps, social media, and media. In this way, we have effectively turned our phones into real tools. This last sentence is easy to read, but not so simple to make a reality. However, it is not impossible.


But the problem does not end there. A few weeks ago, my sister told me that she would have to buy a tablet for my seven-year-old nephew as part of the school materials, as the school will now implement educational activities through an app. This made me think that even though we have our technology under control, that is not the case for the rest of society, and sooner or later, our children will come asking for a cell phone like their friends to send photos on Instagram. Or asking for a screen to watch YouTube videos and a video game console. This realization has left us feeling powerless for some time, even to this day. We do not believe that the solution lies in strictly prohibiting. We were also children and teenagers, and we know well that if we forbid them from what they desire, they will find a way to get it without us.


However, constantly exploring health and wellness topics led us to another place where we would see a light. In this case, my interest in traditional architecture led me to discover community issues, particularly how our modern, industrial, and capitalist social structure has eroded communities worldwide. Mass consumption gave rise to new ways of creating wealth and new ways of living and interacting with the world. Before all this technology, communities were much more united, and people knew each other more intimately. There were no social networks full of people updating their status, but there were neighbors who knew each other because they gathered to have real-time conversations, where they shared about their lives, stories, and problems. In the same way, they offered help and the emotional support that now many have to pay for.


Thus, while learning about new and not-so-new ideas on how to revive communities, I came across co-housing. It involves the concept of intentional community. Unlike conventional neighborhoods where interactions between residents are limited, co-housing fosters social connections through shared spaces and collective activities. Common facilities such as communal kitchens, gardens, workshops, and recreational areas serve as focal points for interaction, encouraging residents to collaborate, share resources, and support each other.


Co-housing offers a plethora of benefits, both social and environmental, making it an attractive alternative to traditional housing models. One of its main advantages is the sense of belonging and support it cultivates. By promoting regular interaction and mutual assistance, co-housing strengthens social ties and reduces feelings of loneliness and isolation in communities that are formed around the common customs and values of their residents. While the community is a bubble within society, access not only to technologies but also to modern culture will eventually reach the attentive eyes of our children. The possibility of growing up in a community where other families share the same values as us and care in the same way about their health can serve to strengthen each other. This is just one of the many advantages that these communities offer.


Having found an answer in this community model, our challenge still has a long way to go. Finding a community aligned with our values is not easy. And creating a new one will require finding those families willing to take a step like this.


In the end, we, like many families, can only continue trying to do our best, so that our children grow up to be great individuals, with the steady hand to make the most of any technology that comes their way, without being harmed in the process. We can only try to keep giving our best to provide them with a healthy life, community, nutrition, and the values that will allow them to improve and correct the course of this society of which we are all a part.





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